My New Years’ Resolutions

This year, I’m making a different kind of resolution. Every other time I’ve done the New Years’ resolution, I’ve gone for something stupidly abstract, like “be more patient”. This year I’ve realized that the key is to go for concrete, tangible change that ends up coming with all the abstract improvements as well.

This year, I shall reclaim the Sabbath for my own. It will be a day of rest, recuperation, and restoring order to my increasingly messy life. Let me talk you through my fantasy…


You know when you start spot-cleaning as a sort of procrastination, like damage control, like “oh, just gotta get this part done for tomorrow night, then I’ll finish this weekend”… well, that’s been my entire cleaning, uh, operation? I can’t bring myself to use the word routine, because that’s just so sad.


Long story so, so short, I have been cleaning my apartment in patches for literally a month, and I feel slightly gross. Next year, I’m resolved to totally take the Sabbath, like Baby Jesus would have intended for his hip, flamboyant non-follower all these years later.


I have this amazing version of Sunday where I wake up, go for a run, eat breakfast over the paper, and then transform into the Master of All Things. I want to start with baking bread for the week (so prepared, am I right, or am i right?), then sweep effortlessly into cleaning the kitchen. After plunging into a full bathroom cleaning, I shall majestically sashay my way around the place a la pet vacuum and then finish with a nice mopping to make everything smell fresh.


Arriving at the noon hour with a headful of steam, I shall next start laundry, washing all my bedding and clothes like I imagine normal people do every week, and then use that time to answer all my correspondence that’s not work-related.


Drifting towards evening, I will make a nice big dinner so that there are leftovers to get me through Monday, then transition to a quiet evening of reading with tea. The ideal day, restful but productive, no work, no people, just me and my tidied life.

Sunday, Sunday-you shall be the day I take control of my life every week. I will say, for all that the early Christians and Jews got wrong, having one day to take for yourself is the best bit of wisdom I’ve heard in years.